26 October, 2014  

You are given this world and this life.

Indiana University

Ronald Reagan Airport
This weekend, I had the opportunity to attend a conference centered around public policy and international affairs. More specifically, it had a theme around inclusion and expanding the policy and IR field. I was extremely looking forward to the conference because I was at a tough time in my academics where I was deciding between one field of study and another. I had consulted the guidance of mentors, advisors, family and friends. But I was still conflicted. I am glad to say that I was able to determine a path through this opportunity. It won't be an easy one but I will be satisfied with my decision through God and the help of my network of colleagues, friends and family. Additionally, I feel extremely content. I was blessed to have been given this experience. I was able to meet with scholars from Brown, Rice, UCLA, Berkeley, Rutgers U, U of Florida, and so many others.

I also feel as though this was a spiritual journey as well. It should not sound weird because spirituality and our souls are tied into every facet of our lives. We all individually have a destiny. Once we are able to discover our destiny, we will be able to vigorously move toward our dreams and goals with a fervent manner and dedication. And the world will meticulously help you to achieve that personal destiny.

Anyway, I leave with a quote.
"Don't be scared to fail and fail fast. Because we're not perfect and will never be so. When you fail you're preparing the launching pad for your greatest successes."
With Love,

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21 March, 2014  

Birthday Wishes

Uncle Julio's: Butterfly Shrimp, Rice and Beans, Tortillas

I've been blessed with yet another chance at life, love and the pursuit of my happiness. This birthday was a little bit different than others previously. I did not get that jittery sense of anxiety in the moments leading up to this day. Or even the fulfillment for a countdown. When I woke up today, I still felt the same (I think everyone can agree on this with me). I think what was different about this day was that I was alone. And this is not to say that I spent the day sulking, because I enjoyed a nice brunch with my brother and mother. But I was alone in the sense that, I was on break from school, away from my social scene, and I was just enjoying this precious moment in the comfort of my home and family. I am glad I got to experience this part of my life with them. Being in college and the mid-20's, we often get caught up in the world of academics, friends and parties. I think that it is important to remain humbled because (for most of us) family is one of the stones that we use to hold us firm in our beliefs, values and sometimes sanity. This past year has taught me so much about myself and I am still learning as a young adult. Overall, I am blessed to live yet another day. In retrospect, it's so interesting to watch yourself over the years and even more interesting to watch your identity form. Things surely aren't perfect on my end of things but I'm looking forward to the rest of the year. Next month alone, I plan on participating in a 5k run, celebrating the Hindu holiday Holi and roughing it in the Shenandoah mountains. I'm exploring the facets of my life that I've never considered before and were once a mystery. I hear that there is point in your life where you begin to look at things in a different view. Frankly, I maybe at that point. I'm realizing that the strongest opinion I can have is one of myself and I am my biggest supporter and motivator. I am fortunate enough to be given opportunities that allow me to explore that side of myself. I'm excited for what is to come and I only look forward it. Here's to another year. 

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14 February, 2014  

Stories of Valentines Day's Past 2.14.14


This title is kind of a joke because I am 102% sure that I have never recognized Valentine's day in my past years except for eating the heart-shaped candies that my little siblings brought home from school. I so vividly remember those Valentine's Day cards  that our third-grade teachers made us make for our fellow classmates. I remember my first puppy love "crush." I made sure I gave him a card with a hand-made heart and my oh-so-cool signature. I would give him the occasional eye when he wasn't looking in my direction. Fast forward to now, I still find myself sneaking looks at attractive men for the eye candy and nothing else. These are just a few snapshots of how I spent my valentine's Day. I bought myself flowers about two days ago because I got a $3 vase at Target and I refused to neglect them. They make me smile and give me another reason to take pictures. I tried my best to stay off social networks, but being the hopeless romantic that I am, I had to. And boy, I was not disappointed. People are really cute. And love is really cute. I'm heading out to dinner later with a friend (pictures are to follow). I just find it inspiring to see love in young peers. There's a certain rush that you get from having another person to kick it with. I don't find myself in a rush to get into a relationship (read previous blog post). But I should start getting ready so I should probably stop listening to my Pandora playlist and take a shower.

It was a great night!!

Who was your first "grade-school" Valentine?

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04 February, 2014  

Love on the Rocks

This post comes fresh off the tips of the infamous "syllabus week," and the adjustment period. Yesterday, late at night, I found myself in a stuffy dorm room with some girlfriends, applying face masks and listening to Drake's Nothing Was The Name. As any stereotypical "girls' talk" happens, we got to the topic of boys and relationships. A topic, that I found little to no interest in. Throughout my life, I have definitely experienced the pendulum swing of boy-crazy to slightly asexual. In the middle of our conversation, my friend asked, "Sade, do you want a relationship?" I quickly retorted with a firm "no," citing academic goals and disinterest in the male population of my university. As I reflect over this question in the middle of the club (read: my school's library), I wonder what the exact reason why I do not pursue romantic endeavors. There definitely is a background to my reasoning. A background that is far too complicated to either explain in one blog post or expose through the internets. Let's just say that I've had not the best experiences with boys and male figures. I will say that I have grown from that immature and closed point in my life, where I detested the male specimen as much as a group of angry divorcées. But at the point in my life right now, I find myself working on the foundation of my career and exploring my academic life as I have come to know it. Frankly, I am sure that I have time to pursue a relationship, however, I don't see myself jumping at the chance to engage in such conversations. Sure, I will head to downtown D.C. with the girls and dance the night away, but texting, entertaining thirst traps, I'm not sure if I'm up for it. I find it exhausting to invest in things that have little to no return factor. I'm not the one to waste my time with random hookups or "talking." But I will say this: I love love. I love that rush and the spring of butterflies when you see the person. I love looking forward to just being with someone just to be with them. There is no need for conversation, just to each others' presence is more than enough. I believe in the organic nature of two people coming together, not the forced or desperate nature of it.

I think that @theladywithquestions stated it best: 
The bottom line is that you need to give yourself the respect you deserve and understand the person you’re trying to share a real commitment with. He can’t be a manifestation of some fantasy you read in a fairy tale; he’s a real person with numerous flaws. 
Frankly, I love everything about this quote. My view on things: If it's happens, it will happen.  But until then, I'll appreciate genuine love from the background and focus on myself.

Kennedy Center Performance (I forgot to post these photos!)

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04 January, 2014  

I Can't Find What I'm Looking for in you.

I haven't made my mind up yet, but I would never do you wrong.

You know, there are four different kinds of love (Greek).

Agápe - To love in a spiritual sense
Éros - To love with a longing and sensual desire.
Philia - To have a "mental" love, with an affectionate and friendship regard.
Storge - To have a natural affection, often seen with family members.

Sometimes love can't be found within others. This is because we have to find it within ourselves first. Very often, I found myself masquerading under this mask of self-confidence and busy-ness to distract myself from this difficult and trying concept that is "love." The love that I had experienced was in the form of "what could have's" and "maybes". They were all too often laced with guilt and regret. Two emotions that I was all too fond of. So, as I laid in my bedroom  at 1 A.M. with a bad case of insomnia and thoughts of you, I couldn't pinpoint my feelings of disappointment. I was never one to fervently love. Or at least that's what I often told myself. Rejection and Disappointment are two people that are not welcome at my door. Every now and then, I am reminded of "us." Or I mean, you and  maybe me. As I wallowed in my fears of commitment and allegiance to your heart, I became restless. My "daddy" issues were way too complex to be solved by you. So here I am seeing if one last chance would be the push that would sail us into a gondola ride for two. But then I am reminded that what I am looking for, cannot be found in you.

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